Naomi’s Story
Naomi's Story
Naomi is a 55 year old woman who began her life as a newborn placed for adoption with a life threatening health condition that required surgery. She was a toddler when adopted by her foster family with kids of their own. Due to both a divorce and death of her adoptive father, Naomi's mom had to raise the family on her own without extended family near to help. During this time, Naomi required surgery to keep her alive. Naomi survived and went on to have a fairly normal life being raised by a single mom. She appreciates the courage and strength her mom demonstrated during the trials and hardships.
From the beginning, Naomi silently struggled with grief, abandonment and trust issues due to all the loss in her life. In her early twenties she experienced two more tragic losses of close family. She was sad, angry, confused and unable to express and explain all the complicated emotions which impacted her and her relationships. She wasn't aware of separation trauma or adoption grief in those early days. She began to go to church to attempt to get answers to make sense of it all.
Searching for answers, Naomi began her search for her biological family and were able to reunite without the convenience of DNA or social media. She was so happy and thankful to finally meet and get the many questions answered, but did not realize all the complicated emotions that come along with reunion, no one around her to understand and talk and unpack it all with. She felt very alone. The emotional stress was overwhelming.
Naomi was self employed, she married and started a family. This was both the happiest and hardest of times. The marriage was strained due to many challenges and they ended up ending the marriage of almost 20 years. She found herself lost, confused, angry, sad. Unsure how to start over and where to begin. Her identity of being a wife and mom, which she found purpose and loved, quickly changed. She had primarily been a stay at home mom who volunteered and worked part time. She was now having to move out of the home she had raised her family. In the two in a half years she moved three times. Each move leaving behind more of her sentimental memories and loss of connection to her family.
Due to the years of ongoing stress her health began to fail. This began years of medical tests trying to determine what was going on. She was alone, scared, and unable to work a full time job to support herself. She was struggling with anxiety with all the unknowns and felt very unstable and insecure.
During this time, her elderly mom who raised her, and her birth father were needing more care. She had always planned on caring for them in her home. A new grandbaby also in need of Naomi's help. The next few years she cared for them in and out of her home and also worked part time. Finances were strained. The financial support was not enough without dipping into savings after buying a small home. It all added more stress on Naomi and her medical condition. She felt vulnerable and had lost her confidence. She leaned into her faith and very close friends to get her through, but still needed guidance on her next steps.
****During this time Naomi and I connected. My guidance was to first..........regarding decisions about possibly finalizing her divorce and how to find affordable legal resources. Second, I encouraged Naomi to look into qualifying for disability for her health issues. Naomi spoke with the resources I suggested and I helped walk her through the process. Naomi did not want to be on disability if at all possible. She wanted to find work she could do that would not cause extra stress and be able to support herself. Naomi needed support and resources. She had to become creative in order to make it. She contemplated selling her home and buying something she could pay in full to not have financial worries until her health improved. I saw her skills and encouraged her to take classes, but time was of the essence financially. I helped guide her, be a support and an encourager to help her regain her footing and confidence. It took some time, but she began to take baby steps to help get her on the best path moving forward. Naomi is back to working full time, on a budget, kept her home and is very grateful and appreciative of the emotional support and walking through many steps wit her over time to guide her decisions which helped manage her anxiety so she can move forward. Providing reassurance, breaking down each step into doable mini steps has helped her continue to progress in making difficult decisions while moving forward.
The mentoring support has made a incredible impact on Naomi. These are the challenges of many women trying to make it on their own with little to no guidance or support.
Women Mentoring for Life has set our mission to provide this for women 18 and over, transitioning out of foster care, grieving from adoption themes, managing life as a single mother, going through a divorce or aging alone, grieving losses and complicate family issues that leave many managing life on their own. Join Women for Life to match with a mentor and guide each other. You are not alone. We are here to do this together.
Are you ready?
